Revenge Is Addictive-Here’s How to Break the Cycle in Childhood Before it Begins

Revenge isn’t a word we typically use when we talk about toddlers. But if you’ve ever taken something away and gotten a swat in return, you’ve seen it in action. In this episode, I sit down with James Kimmel Jr., a Yale researcher and lawyer who was the first to describe revenge as a behavioral addiction. James shares how bullying as a teen almost led him somewhere he could never take back and how that moment shaped his life’s work. We don’t need a prescription to fix this - just forgiveness - and it starts with parents modeling this at home.

We discuss:

• How years of bullying as a teenager pushed James to a breaking point

• What happens in the brain when we feel wronged and why revenge works like an addiction

• Why a lost turn or a taken TV remote can feel huge to a child

• How the urge to get even shows up as early as the toddler years

• Why forgiveness is a gift to yourself, not the person who hurt you

• Seeing the “bad kid” as a hurt kid who needs help managing a very natural feeling

• Why kids learn forgiveness best when they see their parents doing it first

To connect with James Kimmel Jr. follow him on X @jameskimmeljr and check out all his resources at https://www.jameskimmeljr.com/. Buy his book The Science of Revenge https://link.amazon/B00csEYQV (paid link)

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