Beyond “Kids Are Resilient”, What Kids Actually Need to Cope
Episode Description
Have you ever uttered the phrase, "Don't worry, kids are resilient"? It’s a line meant to comfort us as adults, but what if it’s actually giving us permission to skip over our kids' real struggles?
In this episode, I sit down with children's therapist and author Stacy Schaffer to dismantle the massive misconceptions around childhood coping and resilience. Stacy shares her own powerful story of navigating a traumatic childhood under the guise of being the "perfect, shiny" kid , and explains why our well-behaved children might actually be suffering in silence.
In this episode we cover:
What "kids are resilient" really means, and why we overuse it
The difference between true resilience and just shutting down
Why the well behaved, easy kid might actually be a red flag worth paying attention to
What perfectionism can be a sign of, and why it is not the goal
The one thing research shows can change a kid's whole trajectory
How to actually support your kid without fixing or minimizing what they feel
Stacy's own story of being labeled resilient, and what she wishes had been different
Connect with Stacy Schaffer on Instagram @hoperestored, visit her site https://stacyschaffer.com/ and buy her new book: https://go.shopmy.us/p-69552166 (paid link)
Check out her new course: Staying Connected to Your Kids in a Digital World. www.stacyschaffer.com/workshop
00:00:00 - The Danger of the "Kids Are Resilient" Myth
00:02:16 - Meet Child Therapist Stacy Schaffer
00:04:24 - Why Adults Overuse the Word "Resiliency"
00:06:53 - Rescue Parenting vs. Building Real Resilience
00:08:39 - True Resilience: You Don't Have to Do It Alone
00:12:12 - Stacy's Personal Story: "Shiny" Coping vs. Safe Containers
00:14:38 - Destigmatizing Therapy & Embracing Imperfect Parenting
00:18:14 - Red Flags: Is Your "Good Kid" Coping in Isolation?
00:23:38 - The Power of Being Seen: Stop Fixing, Start Listening
00:29:26 - Restoring Hope for the Next Generation
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