Divorce and Relationships: Why Women Are Initiating 70% of Divorces with Therapist Guilia Preziuso

In our fifth episode of The Hairy Chin Podcast, licensed mental health counselor and trauma therapist, Giulia Preziuso, joins me to talk about how current statistics state 70% of divorces are initiated by women. Giulia breaks down the underlying reasons behind this percentage, such as emotional disengagement and gender conditioning. She shares valuable insights from her work as a Gottman Certified Couples Counselor, explaining how early emotional trauma and societal conditioning impact emotional intelligence in relationships. We dive into the power of empathy, the importance of conflict resolution, and how couples can build a healthier relationship by learning key skills. Finally, Giulia offers tips on managing emotional disconnection, ways to communicate effectively with your partner and assessing your relationship with a Gottman Assessment.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [02:10] Emotional disengagement and a lack of emotional intelligence as primary reasons women initiate 70% of divorces.
• [04:49] Managing conflict by using soft versus harsh startups reduce emotional flooding.
• [06:17] How the Gottman Institute's relationship assessment predicts divorce with 91% accuracy, guiding couples toward therapy or uncoupling.
• [10:09] Resentment builds over time when couples don’t practice empathy and accountability.
• [11:09] Giulia discusses the Seven Year Itch and how couples can lose communication skills over time, contributing to emotional disconnection.
• [12:27] Male gender conditioning and how it suppresses empathy, creating barriers to emotional intelligence.
• [13:13] The concept of negative sentiment override and how it can destabilize relationships.
• [13:56] The power of small acts, like 30-second kisses, to help couples reconnect and create psychological safety.
• [18:16] Clarifying the terms gaslighting and narcissism and their role in relationships.
• [24:10] Understanding the Gottman metaphor of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: stonewalling, criticism, defensiveness, and contempt.
• [28:58] The importance of gratitude and creating a culture of appreciation in relationships.
• [32:20] Couples in emotionally intelligent, happy relationships live longer and experience better physical and mental health.
• [37:00] The phrase “happy wife, happy life”—is it true? Giulia discusses gender conditioning, intimacy, and happiness in relationships.
• [37:55] Relationships are built on transactions and negotiations, not unconditional love.
• [42:50] Perpetual problems: 70% of issues in relationships are recurring. Learning to manage, rather than solve them, is key to long-term success.

TOP TAKEAWAYS:

• 70% of divorces are initiated by women, often due to emotional disengagement and lack of empathy from their partners.
• Effective communication in relationships requires empathy, accountability, and remorse.
• Effective communication involves using 'I' statements instead of 'you' statements and avoiding blame and judgment.
• Happy, emotionally intelligent couples live longer and experience better mental and physical health.
• Seeking therapy can be a proactive measure to improve and strengthen a relationship.

RESOURCES:

• The Gottman Institute
• Rutgers University Study
• Graph: Time Spent With Relationships By Age (USA)
• ASA Research: Women More Likely Than Men to Initiate Divorces

About Host Spencer Moore:

Spencer Moore, founder of The Hairy Chin, is a passionate advocate for patient education, female empowerment, and authentic patient stories that inspire and inform women on their health and wellness journeys. She shares practical advocacy skills, authentic patient stories, and conversations with medical professionals that motivate and guide women navigating their health, making her a trusted voice in women's wellness.

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